What weight have you carried that no one saw?

One Founder's journey was packed with reflections and real life tangible experiences, and here is her story...

Marisa Poster is the Co-founder of PerfectTed and a Forbes 30 under 30 honouree. Her story isn’t about winning. It’s about what happens when you’re winning and falling apart.

"In July 2024, I was ‘living the dream’. I’d just got married, was named on the Forbes 30 under 30, and running a business. But inside, I was barely functioning. In fact, I was in the depths of a major depressive episode.

Our brand’s mission is to “Spread Positive Energy,” and there I was, the freakin’ co-founder, unable to access any for myself. I felt like an absolute fraud, leading one of the fastest-growing companies in the UK while silently falling apart.

Depression doesn’t care how well things are going. It's not a mindset issue you can positive-think your way out of. It's a neurobiological reality that can hijack your brain regardless of external circumstances. That disconnect between public success and private suffering; that was the heaviest weight of all.

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Who needed you to have it together, even when you didn’t?

Absolutely my team. We were scaling rapidly, hiring quickly, and I felt this intense pressure to maintain professionalism. I was terrified that any sign of vulnerability would be interpreted as incompetence, and showing my struggles would make people question my ability to lead. So, I became an expert at compartmentalising, switching between the private version of me, who could barely get dressed, and the public version that needed to inspire confidence in partners, motivate employees, and represent our brand.

I acted like I was fine when I was anything but fine. I showed up, smiled and laughed. I suppressed the fear that I was letting everyone down, and I flat-out lied about my capacity.

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What did your breaking point teach you that your success never could?

My breaking point came the morning of a major PerfectTed event with Runna. I got dressed, ready to go. I was sitting on the edge of my bed… and I just felt paralysed. It felt like I was watching my life from underwater with a weight on my chest, and I couldn’t breathe.

A lot of people know that feeling, maybe they call it burnout, overwhelm, or anxiety. But for me, it was the moment I realised that no amount of external success could fix what was going on inside my mind. I also realised that I didn’t need to “earn” rest, you don’t need to be in crisis to ask for support. And you can’t build something sustainable if you’re breaking in the process. Seeking professional help isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity.

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What version of leadership did you leave behind?

I’ve stopped pretending I have it all together. I’ve stopped equating composure with competence, and I've stopped seeing vulnerability as unprofessional. I talk very openly about therapy, medication when needed, and the importance of mental health days. I want my team to know that being human is not a liability, it’s an asset when you're building something meaningful and meant to last.

When I finally shared my story publicly, one of our longest-standing team members stood up in front of everyone and shared her own experience with depression. That moment made it clear: when you go first, you give others permission to be real. It’s created a culture where there’s no such thing as a bad idea. People feel safe, heard, and bold enough to speak up.

I’m a better leader because of it. I now understand how to spot the signs of burnout in my team, how to create space for honesty, and how to make performance sustainable. I no longer believe in pushing through no matter the cost. I believe in building something that doesn’t break us.

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What saved you and could save someone else?

If another founder called me carrying the weight I did, I'd tell them this: You're not broken. You're not weak. And you are absolutely NOT failing.

You don't have to choose between your well-being and your business; that's a false choice. Vulnerability isn’t a weakness. It's your superpower."

Marisa Poster, Co-founder of PerfectTed, a matcha energy drink, with investment from Steven Bartlett. With listings in major UK retailers and £50 million in projected annual sales, PerfectTed is redefining natural energy for a new generation.

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